Chapter XVI: Youthanasia

Quote of the month: "Sometimes in life, your situation will keep repeating itself until you learn your lesson." 

Songs of the month: Breaking Benjamin - Breath

                              Metallica - Fade To Black

                              Disturbed - Indestructible
                              

                               

  

           Hello everyone! Last time it was a stone cold weather, and now Summer is finally it's roots with that unbearable heat, ironically. Had yet another battling month, more splitted than what I would talk about. In the first part I will speak about a great easter vacation, which got through an abrupt loss, and in the third I will speak about the crusade I've been warding against the exams and my friends cynicism of their present exams (and as usual Part II will be a song that suits this whole period of time, this time with some depressing story-telling elements in it). Let's kick things off with Part I.

Part I: Late Goodbye

                To keep some stuff going, I will need to recall some moments from the last chapter. So basically I said that in order to obtain some happiness and see the sun that you missed for so much time, you must learn how to dance in the rain. In other words if you are in a mood that will never get away from trouble coming left and right, you need to find a way to have fun even in that mood. For me, the key moments were achieved throughout my 21st anniversary and hope given to my parents that our financial situation is going to mend, while my cats will make it through with us.
                
                Now I will begin with that recreational period for me before beginning the demon days (the exam session). And when I say this, I mean the easter vacation, or 2 and a half weeks of relived fun back home in Slutina, all beginning with with the trip back home, and picking up some great opportunities to enjoy it. It all began with the usual pick-up by Alex 0 and his girlfriend, from the hospital (parking zone) back to my home where I told them about all the sloppy moments I had during my trip back from Cluj, some being quite awesome, as I told them about my new-found friends from Cluj, Vlad and Iancu. One with whom I had a great time at a rap concert with Dragonu' AK-47, and the other who introduced me to the metal scene from Cluj, and convinced me to go to the Masterpiece concert, a band that earned my respect for their performance as a cover band (of my favorite one Metallica). The very next day, I was invited to a walk with my dear Roxana to try and reason about what she should or shouldn't do in the future, now that the baccalaureate is near to her. I gave her my more than honest opinions about the situation, and to not repeat the same mistake I did with my dead-ex back when I was a 12th grader, not to mention the full support she has from me starting from that point and beyond. She hugged me of happiness knowing there is a person she can actually count on knowing her mental state.

                Here comes another great featuring during this vacation, and I'm talking about Ray's return back from the UK. We embraced ourselves of this bro-union we had in store for such a long time, and an eager build-up to it, given our time chatting back on the internet about bringing back a modern version of our friendship from middle-school. Not a day was wasted, or should I say night, because we literally exploited our limits and joined Roxana and some of our common friends to catch the sun rising on the 1st of May. Exhaustion level was beyond what we would've expected. Nevertheless we enjoyed every moment of it, as it really is one of those moments you only live once to catch. Next day after some sleep was caught, I rejoined Diana, Duda and her kin first at their cousin's mansion for a barbeque, then at The Rock for a little drunk body-rocking. From what I remember I went there with Madalina (a girl from Slutina with whom I first met in Cluj, as weird as it sounds), she wasn't into the music much so she left early, then I joined my people from the far corner with Sabin and Ibiza added to the mix. It was a fun and awesome night, even though I can't remember much of what happened, and I'm pretty sure I met a lot more people in that night (such as Laura the asian), and made better friends out of people like Adrena, Patrice and Alex Vladut. Nevertheless, it was a great night.

                Enjoyment couldn't reach it's potential max without meeting all of my friends in easter. Alex Micu', Alex M., Sabin and Marius were there for a great easter holiday, knocking easter eggs, making some clear photos, and feast on a delicious barbeque at Shitana, a place which has become sacred for us for such a long time. The entertainment level couldn't be greater without reliving some of those nostalgic moments we had as kids. I also met my ex-benchmate Ted from high-school and had an old school beer gyrate like in good days, laughing aside some moments back in the day. It has become a busy vacation for me, and I can say without a doubt that there was also a big job when it came to saying goodbye to each of them. It becomes harder and harder to keep in touch with everyone from "My World" as it gets bigger and bigger, hence why in the last day I had to stretch myself to like 10 different places to spend time with everyone before saying goodbye to them. It usually ended with a final condolence hug from Roxana and went on with my leave back in Cluj to end year 1 as a student there. 

                Sadly I had to witness something very dear to me to be taken away from me, besides the Sun which was already missing in Cluj because of the rainy month. As I probably mentioned before, my older cat Mitzy was suffering a cyst on her belly and it's been getting bigger and bigger in the course of these 2 weeks. 2 days before leaving I noticed that thing blew up, and the poor cat was getting lazier and weaker. I kinda knew she was going to live any longer so I waved my last goodbye to her before leaving to Cluj. 2 days later I received the news from my parents that Miss Mitzy died on 15th of May 2013, cause being the blood loss being her unrepairable damage, and reason to my parents to agree to a euthanasia. I wasn't shocked by the news, but instead it got me to a bigger hole of desperation than before. I was so angry because this whole spring season I had too many bad stuff going on, than good and the cat that lived 2/3rds of my life with me is now a new addition to the resume. It was also saddening for me because, that what I did, wasn't a Late Goodbye, something I would've never thought would happen. I couldn't even imagine what would next to lose for me. To enumerate some, starting this springtime, I got stabbed in the back by a so-called "friend" of mine for the 2nd time, I had to endure the tension with my parents not losing their jobs or their faith in me at the faculty, Oz's imminent paralysis happening after my birthday from home, my friends having a hard time communicating with me because of those reasons, and now Miss Mitzy's passing away. I really started to think I was cursed, until I decided to gut it up and keep on fighting and dance in the rain.
                

Part II: That Weekly Music Video That Inspired Me This Month #7

             Since the loss of my oldest cat Miss Mitzy, I've fallen in a depressive state, and this is the first song I need to listen when I am at this stage. Probably the most common song about depression it is this one song, called "Fade to Black" by Metallica.
             In an interview with drummer Lars Ulrich on the set of the production MTV Icon: Metallica in 2003, he recalls how he and vocalist/rhythm guitarist James Hetfield were "obsessed with death" at the time the album and song were produced.

             The song's lyrics address suicidal feelings. It begins with an acoustic guitar introduction and becomes progressively heavier as the song goes on, similar to their future songs, "Welcome Home (Sanitarium)", "One", and "The Day That Never Comes". James Hetfield commented on the song in a 1991 interview with Guitar World,

"That song was a big step for us. It was pretty much our first ballad, so we knew it would freak people out... Recording that song, I learned how frustrating acoustic guitar can be. You could hear every squeak, so I had to be careful. I wrote the song at a friend's house in New Jersey. I was pretty depressed at the time because our gear had just been stolen, and we had been thrown out of our manager's house for breaking shit and drinking his liquor cabinet dry. It's a suicide song, and we got a lot of flak for it, as if kids were killing themselves because of the song. But we also got hundreds of letters from kids telling us how they related to the song and that it made them feel better."

             Since its release, "Fade to Black" has been a fixture in Metallica's live performances. It was also the last song that Metallica performed live with former bassist Jason Newsted before he left the band. Newsted's last gig was at the VH1 Music Awards on November 30, 2000. It was one of his favorite Metallica songs, and was said to be of great sentimental value to him, although it had been written before he had joined the band. His previous band, Flotsam and Jetsam, performed a song called "Fade to Black" on their 1986 album Doomsday for the Deceiver before he left to join Metallica.

Part III: You got to fight just to make it through

               Now if you read everything starting Chapter XV until now, you can see the build-up to how frustrated I started to be with all the stuff going on in my life. Losing one dear thing after another, even when I thought I would finally find my peace and say it's over, I start losing something even more important with each event passing by. And back to that so called "Stud-Life" I couldn't enjoy that either, 'cause school was getting more and more complicated, and the exam session was coming.

               Now there is something good to mention on the bright side, I had my new found friends there to take me to a fun series of entertainment, if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have managed to survive this whole pressure. Iancu was there for me to listen some hard stuff going on in my mind, knowing the way of life being pushed over and over again. He became one of my favorite people to go in the lecture room and learn stuff with him. It's like we had a toggle for unrelentless learning and another for chilling out on a 10 minute break laughing on some cretinic moments we both had. Next to him was Vlad who also had the same role but more of an pretentious threshold, being extremely obsessed with lifestyle and fun. Suddenly we got struck with the idea of exam fails that could possibly occur in Year 2, as it will be one of the toughest in engineering faculties in our domain. Iancu suggested he would bring a flowchart every week to discuss some of the stuff we will learn in future courses, in case we get to dizzy with them. Vlad acknowledged the fact that we are literally spilling our guts out just to try and digest the stuff we need for this session's exams, and that's because most teachers had a bad english to teach us, and nobody could really understand what they would try to say or most likely laugh at their botch and forgetting about the course completely; he was open to the idea as long as we would have some lounge hours after learning, like going to a beer or something. I was happy with this idea as long as it would bring results, and knowing I was in the right team, I told them we should really keep this concept, if necessary 'till graduation. You can try and be the best by yourself but if you want to try and get it on you won't really get to far. As a team, it always bring better results, and we all vowed to keep this clique.

               Now I will get to the exam efforts. Daddy said if I can manage to get out of this session in a clean sweep, and pass all the exams (alive), I will get all my wishes granted this summer (similar to what happened in Chapter VII). Problem was, although this semester, we had a more flexible program, and we had 5 exams instead 6 from last year, all those lessons were reaching a hardcore level, that teamwork became a must to pass most if not all of them. We had Special Maths, Analysis II, Chemistry, Fundamentals of Electronic Circuits, and arguably the hardest material of the whole year not semester, Electrotechnics. ET was that hard that you could combine any 3 of the other subjects, combine them and you're not even close of how much you have to learn to understand it first of all. And that is all because of the teacher we had being unstable, and very incoherent when trying to explain to us the lectures. It also became a drama builder, as some of my mates didn't even pass the colloquy, because our teacher was a bit out of her mind, or others became suspected of trying to copy-steal material which was untrue and they got kicked out anyway, or other just quitting and leaving it to autumn's session. To me it got to a turning point, realizing that if I can actually get through this science, I can pass any exam in this session. Starting out strong with a 9 at SM and 10 at Chemistry I already felt a lot of momentum surging again, like there was someone inside my brain telling me it's no time to give up, and that if I really want to reach greatness, then gut it up and prove it. After that hardcore ET exam I learned in delay that I managed to pass it, and be among some of the other sole survivors, because from what I learned 70% of all the students this insane teacher had all failed. Even though I knew 5 wasn't a big mark, I came to realise that finally some good news came after all the crap that happened to my life, and deservingly so, I took a long awaited nap which took half a day.

               Now that half of the session was passed with flying colors, I knew I can pass any exam with enough hard work, the only problem was that I was already burnt out after the first 3 exams, the ET one being the most exhausting of them all. I had FEC and Analysis II which weren't easy exams but still had to push on and pass through those 2. Iancu and Vlad were both there to keep the things going, and as an addition a trance guru mate of ours, David joined in the mix to push forward and finish the rest of the exams left. The last day in Cluj took a heavy toll on my body and mind, as it was the day I had the last exam of the session (Analysis II) which also became the surprise of the session if you look at it from a difficulty standpoint. Not as hard as ET but not easier either. With some training from our favorite seminar teacher and some exercises that consisted of learning more Mathematicians' names than math I went there, raised hell, left, then went on to say goodbye to my dear mates Iancu, Vlad, Furtos, David, Issa, Andreea, and David my neighbour from the student home. The last David was so humble he offered to help me with the heavy baggage I had for home, knowing I also helped him understand some stuff at ET he needed for his exam. we went on to the bus, talked a bit, then said the last goodbye before meeting in year 2. A really great guy, like all people in Cluj. I then checked via mobile internet if I passed at Analysis II, and just like ET, I managed to move on by the skin of my teeth and finish this session with all exams passed and flying colours. I called my parents and told them about everything and they were proud of all my efforts. Also mentioning that I got weaker than ever because of all the sleepless nights I had and the bag of stories I had to be part of.

               Now I don't know if you noticed but I kind of abused for each new paragraph the word "Now". Funny huh? as crazy as it sounds, this was the main turning point for me: it wasn't about the horrible spring I had, and certainly not about the bad things that could happen in the future, it was about what I am going to do now, knowing what I want, and what I don't want to happen. The only thing I can say is that You Got To Fight Just To Make It Through, as hard as the rain was, as terrible past events were, and as uncertain the future was for me, it was up to me to gut it up and make the past really look like history, and the future a better place for myself, my parents and my friends from home. Even though the past spring events like the last one I mentioned with Mitzy (may she rest in peace, I know she's in a better place), I also went en route to Youthanasia (no pun intended), to kill the days when I was a little boy crying about being wronged all the time, and not to back down, but to fight a battle like a man.



               Thank you everyone for getting this far with me, it's been really a tough time, this past spring, but I see better things in the future with this summer, as I think I know that rising above hate is the only way to come out on top. As mentioned in the last post, I shall release Chapter XVII: Ashes to Ashes on August 1st, concluding the 2 month posts for now. It shall cover my support to this year's faculty candidates (Roxana, Vegas, Alex Micu', Justin, Diana M. and many others), the beginning of a great fun extravaganza a reliving of past stories and possibly another big End of an Era. What will happen? Just wait and tune in on August 1st (and I mean it this time, I'm going to be sloppy anymore). Peace!




Photo of the month:

On The Highroad, I will take you higher, 'till the
World explodes, like a Super Collider

Delayed apology + New confirmed Chapter

Hello people, I'm sorry I couldn't post Chapter XVI, I had some tough schedule to keep up with, and I'm still working on writing it's material. I promise to release it this Sunday, and on August 1st I shall post it's follow-up Chapter XVII: Ashes to Ashes which will cover the period from July. Thank you for your understanding, and again I apologize for the delayed anticipation. Peace!

Chapter XV: Estranged

Quote of the month: "He who knows that enough is enough, will always have enough" - Lao Tzu.

Songs of the month: David Draiman - Forsaken

                              Guns N' Roses - Estranged

                              Rammstein - Links 2 3 4
                              

                               

  

           How's it going people? Pretty tough weather here in East Europe, and I can tell without any regret that I had some tough weather in my mind for March and a better part of April. I am happy to say that now managed to get through this, but it was a tough battle with the cold, emotions, and decisions. In the end, it tides have turned, and peace was restored at the end of each month. In the first part I will, talk about all the cryptic pain endured in this season, while in the third I will unveil the bright side of things, and the happy endings (and as usual Part II will be a song that suits this whole period of time with the powerful story-telling elements from it). Let's start talking about it right now.

Part I: Dance in the rain

                This is going to be the part where all the dark things will be unveiled. Starting March was a big setback, both physically and mentally, and that all because of the tragedies going on left and right. For a start, I'll say that no matter how much important you think you are to a person, that will never be the case if that same person follows other qualities that advantage her more, and gives you less to nothing back. In fact, it can always be a backstab that you will receive sooner or later, because you are no longer useful to that person and she needs something else. I had this experience before, and even though we made amends, we resumed our friendship and I was literally at some point, the man in a suit, the one who is supposed to make himself heard in any statement, and I wanted something back in my return for all goods I've done to that human being. Instead, I was ignored, or at least treated as if I am secondary to other more "important" people, coincidentally when I had nothing else to offer. Then I came to realise that a person who stabbed you in the back once, will always do it again some point in time (hence the Lao Tzu quote from above). I knew something was needed to be done, only that there were still living things inside that were skeptical about doing anything. In the end I realised enough is enough, and I cut out the cancer, while gradually dragging myself from that abyss of emotions. It was tough, but it surely was safer to eliminate the toxins from the air, than to let it pass through me and then end up in pain. These are the fakest friends I can't stand and in this case I had to actually fight my way and question the loyalty of others to see who is real and who is not. Just to make things clear, in my world of friends, the first mistake is the last mistake, and the next mistake... well no more mistakes. You already end up in probation after the last one, should you show signs of a liar, a scumbag, a fake, an insipid, or the worst case a backstabber (again), you are going to be exiled with no warning. Continuation of the happy ending #1 in Part 3.

                Next, my cats starting to get sicker and sicker, one because of the age (14) and it's delirious hunger without any way to feed it (eats, but no results, just gets slimmer), and the other in a terrible accident that led to a posterior paralysis (probably from a high distance fall?). This was another revolving door that was going through my mind, because it happened just after I finished my birthday celebration and I was led to paranoia because of it happening at night, where no doctor is to be found in my hometown. This was another huge emotional setback, if not for me then for my parents. Growing in the faculty, my parents became more and more lonely, and because of the concern of the age of my older cat Mitzy, they decided to buy another one just as a pain sponge, in case she passes away. The 2nd cat's stint was short-lived as she died of pneumonia and a heart attack after an overdose of diverse injectable substances that were needed to save her from the illness. Instead, the dose was too strong and couldn't make it. That was a dark night for my parents, and it was a sleepless one for me, because I had to take care of them. After that, they acquired a new one, called Ozzy, and suddenly they became overly attached to them. Then after that accident happened, the world was breaking apart for my parents, as they were hellbent on saving him, at all costs. It was a hard period full of prayers, money thrown, and desperation as this time I was far away from my hometown, and just pray for the best to happen. It also got me to a gelousy level to my parents, because of the efforts made for Ozzy, and suddenly I was thinking, hey! This can be my excuse for skipping college! I thought they are in a terrible situation, and this was my escape to stay home for a while. But then I thinked again and said, no that's an awful idea, God will do things right. Continuation of happy ending #2 in Part 3.

                Finally I was facing pain on many plains of my body. I am let alone to face a horrible toothache that is slowly driving me to insanity because of the depth of the corrosions, and I don't have yet the money to save them. All I can do is sit back, keep calm and take as many pills as I can. Another one would be the tough schedule and the delayed sleep I can't control anymore, which leaves me more and more tired with each day passing by, and return to the coffee overdose. Add an uncontrollable headache to that because of the stress with the faculty and the problems I mentioned earlier and you get yourself into a pit of agony. Lastly there's the longing I hold to my friends at home, and some random chest pains I endured lately with my heart because of the pressure I had over the past 2 months. This is the kind of stuff that would drive me into an emotional, physical and mental chaos, which makes last year's health issues seem as they were small balls of sand in the foot compared to what I am enduring now. It's even more pressure once you have some desperate parents that make you work out through the pain, as if it's not their concern, after all, I've been sent here far to college to learn new stuff, and don't quit. Continuation of happy ending #3 in Part 3.

                All in all I can say that this was a horrible and clouded tone set from the get go in these past 2 months, as everything happened so sudden, and I never saw those problems coming. But sometimes, damn it, you just have no choice but to go and do that Dance in the Rain. For your own pity, when nobody could listen what is wrong, you fall down on your knees and let the rain fall onto your face full of tears to cover up your misery. Thankfully, there is a turn of situation at any time, and things started getting better within the end of each issue I stated here. More on that on below the next part.

Part II: Part II: That Weekly Music Video That Inspired Me This Month #6

             As the title of this chapter may suggest, this month I took the relief and become addicted to this song which would explain how these 2 months felt for me in a known song by Guns N Roses called Estranged.

"Estranged" is a song and music video by the American rock band Guns N' Roses from the second part of their two-part Use Your Illusion album, Use Your Illusion II.

 At over nine minutes long, "Estranged", also known for its music video, is the longest song on Use Your Illusion II and Guns N' Roses' second longest song overall (after "Coma" from Use Your Illusion I). It has many verses, no set chorus, and several distinguished guitar and piano solos. Use Your Illusion II's liner notes thank lead guitarist Slash for "the killer guitar melodies", which captured Axl Rose's vision. Slash has specifically stated that recording the guitar parts for this song was very intensive for him; he recorded it using a Les Paul Gold Top, using the rhythm pickup with the tone turned all the way down.

According to Slash, the song was written while the band was rehearsing for an extended period of time in Chicago. Axl revealed that he wrote the song during a more "bummed out" time in his life when his marriage with Erin Everly was annulled.

Released in December 1993, the music video is the third and final part of an unofficial Del James trilogy of videos (preceded by "Don't Cry" and "November Rain") from the Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II albums. The estimated budget was US$4 million.

The almost ten-minute-long video for "Estranged" is similar in style to the previous two in the trilogy; however, it appears only loosely to pick up the theme. This is mainly because Axl Rose and then-girlfriend Stephanie Seymour (who played Axl's love interest in "Don't Cry" and "November Rain") had broken up prior to filming, making the theme of separation/divorce highly relevant.

Part III: The World Needs a Hero

               Now I will take these parts in reverse order to explain the good part of this period of time, and most likely the happy endings, starting with where I was left alone and forsaken back in Cluj, with 99 problems running through my head and body. Picking from the agonized point, I knew that the other personality from me called Melvin one way or another, wanted to drag this whole ship back from the edge, and try to scratch and claw it's way to normal. Said and done, I found new occupations, I started learning more often for the faculty, I started jogging, I talked more and more to my friends and I started learning about my college mates. A new friend called Vlad Iancu, was there to propose going to a concert together of a Metallica tribute band from our country called Masterpiece, and told me about so many stuff about them doing an epic show every night. Said and done, I went with him, and my God, even though they aren't the original band, it was literally the best live concert I've seen, and made me happy to say that my money spent was worth it. It was a good day the next few hours when the lead guitar of that band added me on facebook and asked me about a photo collage with them at the concert if I can do some for them, which I gracefully accepted to. The pressure of my parents was lifted once I got back home, and I told them about the current situation of the knowledge level and how I can manage to get through exams easier this session, which made them more relieved. End of Happy Ending #3.

    Moving back home was a revitalizing easter vacation for me, both in March and April. When I returned in April I learned about good news regarding Ozzy and his paralysis. After a whole week of treatments he can now walk on all paws, but still needs rehab which no longer needs doctoring, but more of a natural way, as he had some heavy hemorrhage at his posterior and a huge part of it was cured. Now he is slimmer than back in the day when he came here, but let's face it... this cat has balls to get through all this pain and alive. Mitzy was also in a good shape now that she has some diet food at her disposition, and the peace level for my parents was finally coming back. This also was good news for me, as the desperation level started decreasing, and I found my own peace with all family members back. Also I started raising the stakes with an old friend from general school. Ray Runno, who started to be more and more closer in friendship with me, as we started talking again about diverse complex subjects and told about a reunion planned in easter vacation, something I could hardly wait to happen so we could reunite again. End of Happy Ending #2.

  Back in the first return for March I was concerned over what happened to me and started questioning the loyalty of some people. I returned home specially to celebrate the 21st Anniversary, and more than anything to see who is real to me, when a promise was made that the invitations were used in a good way. I was left very skeptical because of the delays of many of my friends, but I will say this, the first 2 people who reached Napoli for my birthday proved me wrong. Those were Adrian Guinea and Roxana, after them came 0 and his girlfriend Crisssssssstina, then Alex Micu', Cipry and Adelina. We had an amazing time at Napoli as we remembered some annoying moments, gossiped some people, and had some funny photos. After that we got to Melvin's where Sabin and Alex Afri came later on and joined to fun. I think that was the highlight of my whole birthday. In a similar way with my 19th birthday, I had friends from the old school, new school, and personal favorites from the past 12 months, I cutted a cake (lit with matches instead of candles), picked a wish, got thrown to the ceiling 21 times by my friends, and enjoyed each and every one of their contributions to that day. 

The presents solidified everything to me regarding my friends and what represented our gimmicks making them prolonged and memorable. I was gifted a Zippo Lighter from Adi, a book for driving lessons from Alex Micu' and Alex M., money from Adelina and Cipry, a tabloid and a bottle of Baileys whiskey from 0 and Crissssssssstina and my personal favorite a real rimmed picture with "The Infamous Hug" from Roxana. That frame was the thing that lifted off any cloud from my mind, and showed who are my true friends who were there for me whenever they were summoned. It meant the world to me, when they showed appreciation for everything I've done with them in our respective friendships. After the "Amsterlypse Reprise" was over, everyone went home happy, and wished the best in my new number of being 21, only son, but a true friend to us all. And hey, after all The World Needs A Hero, which is why I was there to make this happen.

 The next day, I walked a little in the city with my dear Roxana to tell her how much it meant for me that everyone came and enjoyed the party. She was happy to say she had a great time also, and that she really wasn't expecting me gifting her for her birthday (which coincidentally was with a week earlier) with a chained waistbelt she liked and worn. At the time I was walking on egg shells with my parents because of Ozzy, while she was doing the same because of battle she is continuously pushing with this year's exams. Knowing that spring was here, even though it was clouded in nature, and in our minds, we decided we take the 3rd picture from the seasoned series of "The Infamous Hug". So far we had Autumn, Winter, and now we took another trip to Caloianca street to make the Spring hug. In that moment I finally found my emotional peace knowing that we are in a happy state while we embraced in hugs. Given that I was broken and hurt over the past 2 months that hug that me love every moment of it, made me want to stay forever. As the song of the month goes, when I'll find out all the reasons, maybe I'll find another way, find another day. With all these changing seasons of my life, maybe I'll get it right next time. Now that I've been broken down, got my head out of the clouds, I've got back down on the ground, and I didn't talk so loud, nor walk so proud anymore... and what for? 
All I ever wanted was found in that Estranged hug with me and Roxana: A wonderful human being, that I can't despise, that knows who I am, and knows that I know who she is, and an unconditional love that never holds expectations for something in return; she was herself, and I was myself, and nothing else mattered. After leaving her home and waving a last hug goodbye, one thing was for sure, I knew the storm was getting closer and all my friends knew the storm was coming high, but everything we've ever known here up to this point I never wanted it to die. End of Happy Ending #1.

Thank you everyone for bearing with me on Chapter XV: Estranged, thankfully I managed to hit the scheduled date this time for release and not delay it even more like in past chapters. It was a hard 2-monther for me, but in the same time, I can say I enjoyed some amazing aspects of it and I was glad I enhanced my true friendships to a new level. I'll see you at the end of June for Chapter XV: Youthanasia for another 2 months of rich history which is about to be written in real life at the moment, but now that I know everything is going to be alright, all I need is to have just a little patience, keep the faith, fight for the right reasons, and never let down any of my friends from my World. See you then, and as always, Peace!

Photo of the month:

Sad woman, take it slow, it'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience...

News regarding the blog!

As the schedule is getting rougher than ever, I will be forced to reduce the number of posts to 10 this year. This means, at the end of April I will release Chapter XV: Estranged, which will contain stories from both March and April, and in the same manner, Chapter XVI: Youthanasia, will hold stories from May and June. Then I will resume the usual format for 1 post/month because it will be easier for me then. See you soon in April for the next chapter! Peace!

Chapter XIV: 10 Steps To Someone's Heart

Quote of the month: "Sorry honey, I got better things to do, then to waste my hate on you.".

Songs of the month: Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

                              Megadeth - Promises
                              Enya - Only Time

                               

  

           Good afternoon everyone! I can believe I actually managed to finish 3 chapters in 3-4 days, I can say one thing, it was exhausting. But you guys deserve them after I delayed you for so long that you probably thought I died (guess what, not yet). This will be the last post of the trifecta I'll post until the end of March. So enjoy this cute review about this month of love/ experience of how to win to show love.

Part I: Use the man (Step 1-4)

                With the exam session over, I managed to get out of it alive and well, but still there was a lot of work to do for future faculty duties. All that aside, I made a new friend called Joana (Issa) who seemed to be weird enough to attract my attention. It all started during the session, the day after I took (and was a bit bummed about) the 2nd exam at Logic Design which was extremely hard to pass. Pissed off about every detail I wrote there, I went back to the college home, hellbent on getting drunk just to forget about everything. A neighbor from the same floor with me, David asked if I was up for a hubble-bubble at the girls room from 523. I thought, meh, got nothing to lose, why not? That's where I met Issa, a girl from the same year as mine, only that she was from the RO Automation section, while I was at EN Automation. Very calm human being, but power-drunk over wrecking stuff in her way. During the whole beauty of the Hookah, we got drunk to the point we started laying our head next to each other on the floor and started talking about ourselves. The next day wasn't too different, as she invited me to come watch a movie at her place, with the only requirement to bring a USB pen to store the movie then she even invited me to come home with her at the end of the session, or at least drive me to Sibiu. I even got drunk with her to the point we needed subtitles to talk, and the next day even though we were hung over, she was still very caring and helpful enough to remind me about giving me a hand with the road home. Very good friend for a start here in Cluj. I enjoyed all of her proposals, and done everything with a good laugh for the 2 of us.
                

                1.Reaching home again, the first friend I met again the next day was Andra who just got back from school, and decided to take lunch with me. We relived those typical lovely moments during her visit at Melvin's. In a weird yet certain way we actually felt closer than usual, and that could only make me happier. With her leaving, the next day I had a nostalgic school visit, where I met all my classmates again since last summer, and made a rally to our former high-school to visit our former class master and math teacher. It was a really feel-good moment because the teachers were putting us over as former scholars who gone to reach a high star in their respective paths of their careers. After that we would run for a juice in a pub and remember some funny moments.

                2.We get to February 14th, where I planed to shutdown systems once again, since it was going to be the 6th consecutive year of being single on Valentine's Day. I was even ranting about this day with Roxana who hated this day as well. Then it hit me, she hated this day, so did I... So why not make this day, our day? A Forever Alone Day? Without anymore thinking I tweeted about this day getting cool again. Little did I knew that Andra was extremely curious about who was going to be my valentine, while I kept silent and told her she's going to see soon enough.

                3.Back to being the guy who's doing the cute stuff, I bought Roxana some tulips, met her after the Radu meditations, and she was surprised by the gesture and jumped into my arms of happiness. We then

went out for a grub and eat some pizza. She then proposed we should go for a movie later that night. Since it was free, I was alright with the idea, so we went to the cinema, met some other friends of mine/hers and moved forward to take seats, at 4 rows further I see 3 girls. There was Laura, Dana and Andra. That certainly wasn't the way I wanted them to learn about who my date was going to be that night (originally I was going to update the Facebook with this thing), but it actually turned out the way it did. Andra was quite surprised to see me there at the cinema, and next to Roxana. It got extremely embarrassing at middle of the movie when imitating the couple from the movie (yes it was a romance movie, called Sweet November), and simulated them kissing (like LOUD). She did that 10 times, and I begged for her to stop, because everyone right now is thinking we are actually kissing. End of the movie, sad twist of fate, all the girls were ready to cry, except Roxana who I cheered up to the point she could walk on strong. And finally led her to her personal driver, condolence hugged and goodbye.Arguably our best Valentine's/Forever Alone Day ever. The next day was great as well, we finally got to a concert at The Rock together, and banged our heads to the point we couldn't move our necks anymore. "Awesome" was raining all over bodies, so another condolence hug for that, then I was off to meet Flyvius and Alina, at the Old Irish Pub in the town (and Diana, Duda, Afri, and many many many others a little further in the same place).

                4.Andra was a bit pissed by the fact I didn't came to cheer her up, when she needed me. And because she tried to use the man, we had a fight, but we reconcile after a few days, to resume some more history in our personal book.

Part II: Promises - A tale about 2 hearts (Step 5-7)

This will be a tale about 2 hearts. It is also inspired by Song of the month #2.

Let’s tell a story about 2 hearts that shouldn’t talk to each other, who ended up ceasing to exist without each other.  

                5.Put it this way, have you ever ended with someone who’s totally different than you, who you for the sake of your friendship limit any point of evolution just to keep yourself away from falling in love?
Well I did, and this all started when me and a great friend who somewhere down the road accepted to stay in a friendzone for the sake of our relationship to don’t deteriorate. She was and is an amazing human being, but we are 2 totally different human beings. People speak our names on the street in hushed tones, the stories they'd tell if anyone would listen…

    Let’s enumerate a few of them. She comes from a place where you are not important unless you are actually needed for help or a duty, while I come from a place where all hopes are driven to the mud, because all dreams are slowly dying when you are promised something and don’t receive. She is a person who can instantly foreshadow past bad memories, while I am a person who gets scarred every time they occur. She hates most cats, while I hate most people. But probably the most notable difference is the fact that she loved loving, while I despised loving, because if I was to actually love, I’d first want to be with someone for a long time, and really, really, really like for some time. In spite of these differences, we would still be great friends from the very beginning. We would start going out often, I would often invite her to my place to kiss, hug, eat sweets, laugh, watch movies, gossip, and dance. No sex, no kiss on the lips. She is also a girl that made me break character and express to everyone in the world what feelings I had for her, and how I almost fallen in love with her because of them. . All of these differences were obviously getting is into so much fighting to get past the pearly gates, but nobody ever wants to die or get saved for that matter.

     6.Then the instabilities occurred. We started loving each other in a very weird way, though it took me 3 more months to tell her that I love her while she told me that, the moment I broken character. Sure it sounded pretty cute, but with existing love, comes bigger commitment. We started fighting more often, some of those fights lasted like forever until it was her turn to say how she feels, effectively leaving past incidents aside, while others were very short and easy to solve, no matter how childish they looked. I’ll now express what happened in our last fight that got so ugly, to the point we wanted to ignore each other’s existence once and for all.

       After a childish fight we had because I didn’t hug her when she needed me, she had the nerve to block me on Facebook and that literally ticked me off, since I am a Facebook addict, and this fight got enhanced in a very ugly way. It made me realize that I really didn’t have anything to lose, that I wasted precious time with her. Instead of trying to make things better again, I asked myself, why bother? Why should I go back to someone who just wants to have an anomaly of a friendship? Why can’t I go out there and find a girl who has the same erotic needs that I also want? Why do I have to keep being with someone who makes sure there is a glass ceiling on top of our relationship? Why can’t I be with someone who can truly love me and actually deserve it? 1 day after that fight we had, the answer hit me in the form of a dream.

       The dreamed portrait a sequel to what happened after we fought. It was just like I wanted, I turned my back on her, never looked back and moved on. But because of the abandon, she got so hurt she literally had a heart attack and couldn’t make it before I could learn about the event. That simple interpretation left me chill in pain. It seemed so real, that if my heart was still alive, I knew it would surely break, because she was special. The whole connection we had was special. This dream turned into a nightmare made me wonder why I had to be born so heartless to the point I made someone die without any remorse. I instantly woke up at 4:50 in the morning, all sweaty and hurt so bad I couldn’t breathe. It was just a dream, but it was one I didn’t want to come true, so I texted her in an instant that I am terribly sorry for everything, and that I love her.

        7.Later when I woke up pierced by conscience, I saw she added my back as a friend and asked if she can come to my place later that day. Relieved I said yes, and later we met again after 2 days of fighting. She was scared because of my look once I saw her. It surely wasn’t an angry glare, it was a look at her that made me realize she is real, awake, and alive. I then related the nightmare I had last night which was very painful for me to even talk about it and for the both of us to hear it. She then told me that I marked a big thing about her, because she really doesn’t have a good heart condition, while I was mortified to hear this from her. In the process, the nightmare turned out to be a vision. Some tears fallen after patching up the last event between us, but eventually we stopped crying, hugged and realized this was our shortest fight so far. Everything was back to “normal” again. After saying goodbye to her I was ready to go all aboard to my trip back to Cluj. In the bus, there was a lady who was pitting over someone she loved for passing away. In that right moment I made a vow to myself to keep this relationship with my great friend alive, no matter what happens. I don’t care if this relationship will sometime evolve, or retrograde, if this link dies, we will both be gone. And none of us wish for that to happen. And should something terrible happen, I will hold to this promise and make it up somehow. 

        Should I pass away, mark my words, my dear love. I will meet you in the next life, where we can be together,  I’ll wait ‘till then in Heaven. I promise you.

Part III: Cryptic writings lead to a great surprise (Step 8-10)

                Reuniting with Adriana was marvelous for so many reasons. We met for the first time in 5 months to make a full review of what we've done in this whole time. This is one person I always enjoyed talking no matter how long it would it get. We talked about so many subjects: past relationships, music and the dark side behind it, our evolution in high-school, current issues with faculties, apocalypse, some gossip here and there, and how I started last year with this blog, and it's motivational approach, and some moral questions. Very great time with her, and a hug to wrap up everything before the next meeting.

                8.Moving on, we had another great time at Melvin's with Andra. Her second visit was enhanced by the fact that we had an we patched things up after we had a fight a few days earlier. It was somewhat of a coincidence, that she bought me a rare chocolate while I bought her the same type to gift her. In a very weird way I loved the way we seemed closer than ever when we matched this lust for each other, and also watch the first Ace Ventura movie, laughing our guts out, hugging our guts out, kiss in an uncountable manner, but maybe the most essential of any of these, we started loving each other more than ever. She continuously teased me to come to her 18-year birthday, which was coming up on March 1st, but that would give me a lot of trouble, because of the road from Cluj to Slutina, the time (8-9 hours), and the schedule for the second semester, because I didn't had any guarantee that I will have the same matching conditions like in the first one. Nevertheless I would try my best and promise her to come, but things didn't turn out the way I wanted. I had one more lab to recuperate and that was on March 1st, which effectively compromised my return to Slutina for her. I just pray she'll appreciate the gift I made to her which will be precised in the last step.

                After that was over I went for a stroll at the OHP, with long-time friend Micu' to have a little overview about how he's doing so far for his baccalaurete, I gave him some hands down for his progress so far, then suggested some tips of how to pass it easier. Then Diana and her friend Daniela walked by and surprised the both of us. From there it was all gossip and laughing at some songs we were hearing. They also pointed out some lame moments their respective teachers from their faculties had some absurd marking criteria on some other students, while I was criticizing the grading done by 3 of my own teachers from my faculty. Great fun nevertheless, we went out left our last words before seeing each other again.

                9.Last day in Slutina was a real pain in the arse. I was literally farfetching myself from one friend to another to hug and say goodbye, almost like a farewell tour, only that everything happened in 1 day. I met Cipry and his boys/girls (Adelina, Nicu, Perry, Adi, Wall-E) then I met Christian and his brother Micu', all for the last words before I go. I returned to the masquerade ball and met Andra and Laura for one last city walk, already pointing out some deliriously funny moments with both of them when we were out to buy some pancakes. After that, we went out for some more laughing, I gave Laura a long awaited Scorpion Hug © before letting her go, then I led Andra to her home, while I was telling her about some Italian guy in his trip to Malta to gag around. We had one last stare at each other before hugging and that was that. Until we met again, nothing was too certain about her birthday if I could reach it in time.

                Last one to visit was Roxana who surprised me with a pack of jelly bears for surviving the session. We had one last talk about certain things we follow to do this year. I encouraged her to keep her head up as always, and to pass all of her exams no matter what happens. I explained to her that the same success and glory I had last year with the whole exam run, I see the exact mirror image in her doing that without any problem. She is destined to success, just like I was last year. She was intrigued about my last words, and had one last Condolence Hug © to seal this deal. Then off I was to Cluj.

                I talked with my roomies that I found a new room in the same floor to move and they had no problem with that, they even helped me with everything. The new roomies were in their Master years, and asked me a large number of questions to see what kind of person I am. After asking all of them correspondingly they thought I am a good guy, and offered help at diverse materials I was going to have in the second semester. I also reunited with Issa and laugh a little more over what we did in the vacation, before we would get ready for more worse yet to come: the second semester.

                
Thank you everyone for supporting me over the past months, with this last post I will complete the 3-pack. Can't say these Cryptic writings lead to a great surprise, but if you have the faith and power you will always succeed to get what you desperately desire, and with the photo of the month, I will complete the full 10 Steps To Someone's Heart, I really adored this whole time. Chapter XV: Estranged is up for grabs at the end of March, so see you then. Peace!

10.Photo of the month:

Chapter XIII: Captive Honor

Quote of the month: "He doesn't have the cutest look, but the things he does make him the cutest man on the

                              face of the earth".

Songs of the month: Bon Jovi - Living On A Prayer

                               Megadeth - Trust
                               Guns N' Roses - Don't Cry

                               

  

      Good morning everyone, how are you all doing? Today I managed to make this new chapter in record time, since it wasn't too rich in stories and it was mostly consisted by the exam session. So to keep you busy, I will structure this chapter in an exclusive way. First part will be all about 25 of my best friends from last year, most of which I told you countless stories about, the second will be a usual TWMVTIMTM, and the last part will cover my what's been going on this month (just the important stuff). So without further ado, let's begin!

Part I: Who are they?

This year I have 25 of my best friends with a ranking based on influence, enjoyment, experience, inspiration, level of fun, memories, and hugs. It will probably be controversial to some people, but meh, these are my final picks for 2012. So...Who are they?

#25 - Adelina Ade - A good friend that would not waste a second in seeing me without hugging me and ask if I'm alright or if not, to tell her what's the big issue. A very caring girl that I found very adorable (and started to like her even more after she dyed her head from being a redhead).

#24 - Cosmin Pavel - Ex-benchmate from 8th grade that helped rejoice those fun and dull moments after some stints at the Amsterlypse, that made this common joy. He was a guy I would always like to share a conversation no matter what subject it would be. Also instrumental in helping me meet someone who is just like me.

#23 - Bianca Pavel - Sister of Cosmin with the same ressurgence like his brother, only that here was more about honesty and hugs. I liked her everytime she would act like the innocent redhead, so I could make her laugh without remorse.

#22 - Alina Mihaela Colta - Arguably my best (female) ex-colleague I would love sharing some great memories. Some of them were so lame we just couldn't stop laughing at them. A girl that ultimately earned my respect for admiting she's wronged me when it was her fault. A girl I would never stop from cheering up or hug her, no matter how much she would wine.

#21 - Cristina Preda - A very peculiar girl, but she would always try to give me a sincere advice when it came to moral decisions. I really enjoyed spending time with her and not bugging her with any of my complex views concerning diverse subjects. 

#20 - Claudia Alexia - This is a person we would at first laugh at each others faces, then become friends. A very caring girl that I liked sharing some hard stuff going on my mind, and never relent from making her roll on the floor laughing to some gossip.

#19 - Marius Grigore Stefan - The mutual obsession for IT, video games, disgusting language, rock music, and boobs, would still keep this connection alive. He is one of the veterans I always liked, and I'm happy to know that this didn't changed even after such a long time. Whenever he would be home, I was always eager to go out and have a good memorable time with this guy.

#18 - Flavius Stefanescu (Flyvius) - Drinks, drinks and manele. But also a true guy that would still care about the past class and call me first for hanging around outside. Like #12, he was one of the best guys I liked to drink with, and actually laugh at people like we wouldn't give a f**k.

#17 - Iustin Alex Popescu - A very energetic dude, that would never stop from entertaining me. He was the kind of guy who would propose a lot of innovative stuff and ideas for having fun. A guy I always liked for the fun we had like he was on cocaine.

#16 - Adriana Simona Mihalache - Although we've gone out for just 1/365 days this year, that day would mark a highlight reel about everything we talked prior to that meeting. She is a very intelligent human being that I've grown to admire, an expert in mindgames and explanations, and a very good friend that I always liked to spend time talking no matter how far we were from each other (God bless Facebook chat/Y! Messenger).

#15 - Alexandra Pana & Irina Dumitru (sorry I can't split them in separate places) - 2 of my first meditation mates I've met in the 12th grade. The odd bond between us was so strong, we often meet for a coffee, a drinking night, or a disco place (some of them really awful like Recea, but anyway). I was blessed with a great link with these 2 girls, and meet them a lot more often then my ex-colleagues, something I really don't want to change, because those moments spent with them were..."well" nice.

#14 - Cristian Iordache - He is one of the most oldest friends that I always liked to talk with. A very smart man that I always admired no matter how dull he would get, Cris is the kind of guy from who I would always learn something new or enjoy any crazy moment and laugh at it without any regret.

#13 - Ciprian Fugaru (Vegas) - One of the last members of the fellowship, he was the kind of the guy who would always try and do the right thing whenever there was a tough decision. He was always straight-forward, and would tell from a mile what would happen if I was going to do something bad. A guy who I would help grow into a better guy, and aid him whenever he would need me (knowing that he would return the favor, one way or another).

#12 - Tedy Rotaru - An ex-classmate that I spent the most time with. Of everyone in the ex-class, he was the first guy to call whenever a drinking game would start, and lately discuss some personal issues like we were family. He is a real friend that would always trust me and my advice, and a surreal protector from any bad thing that would get in my way.

#11 - Sabin Costache (Szb) - After 11 years, we would still be in touch. The first people to call each other outside for a walk, and gossip about a lot of stuff. That underground background that covered us for so many years would never foreshadow anything, not even the vices. He will always be that heartful human being with a very strong personality, that I won't stop from encouraging to be better and better as days pass by. More than all, he is one of my best friends.

========================TOP 10========================

#10 - Alexandra Dobrica (Duda) and her kin (Andreea, Patricia, Anca, Andreea Bobe) - Sister of Diana that would calmly approach that level of actually getting in touch with each other. Duda has shown to have similar tastes in manipulation and psychology that I have. Not to mention the credibility between the 2 of us growing tremendously over the past 12 months, and all her other friends from childhood that grew up together now future hot babes being so open with me. I am happy to bump her and all of her beautiful "sisters" into the final 10 (even though it's more than 1 person in a slot but meh, again they all have the same degree).

#9 - Radu Bud (Ray Runno) - Similar tastes in cartoons, music, animations and the "Worms" game brought us here. Even after almost 8-9 years, we are still very close brothers one to another. This could only make me happier. To keep in touch with someone like Radu, was amazing, even after all these years of being far away from each other, we would still come back and say "Bro, I missed you so much!". Nothing but respect for this man, and the kind of person I will always trust when it comes to have a great nostalgic time.

#8 - Alex Dogaru (Africanu') - This guy and I started from the very bottom, until we saw a great man in each other's eyes. From simple meditation mates we descended into rivals, then we buried the hatchet to dominate the rest of the idiots in our group, then we became hilarious goofs when it came to making fun of people, and after a long war with the exams and achieving our respective dreams to college, we stayed to be trustful and great close friends. In the end, the meditation era was the best damn year for the both of us, and it was literally "Bros before Pros".

#7 - Laura Nețoi (Chinese) - Although she was shy at first, I shown to her that I just like her, can listen and care, whenever those qualities may be required in certain times (and in these days it's really hard to find those kind of people). We never had a fight, and she stuck to her thing to be that good girl who wants to have some eccentric fun, or just scare her when she would least expect it. In the end those teases would make her one of my favorite of those 5 girls I really liked to spend time with this year, and very proud to pay homage to her unique look, and render a very unique "Scorpion Hug".

#6 - Alexandru Marinescu - Longtime friend and mentor, this man taught me everything about people, psychology, and moral decisions. Outstanding memories and outrageously hilarious moments couldn't slow down this link, and even though he's had a pretty rough year, I didn't stopped believing in him and stayed loyal even now. He will always have a special place in my mind and my heart for everything he's done, for teaching me all sorts of stuff, and for helping me whenever I would really need it.

--------------------------------------------FINAL 5--------------------------------------------

#5 - Andra Sorina Morariu (Turtu .) - A girl with whom I had the pleasure to share some amazing and inspirational memories, the one that would help me kick off this amazing year with big momentum then still end it one a good tone, and so far the first and only person to make me break character. Throughout this whole year, a simple friendship would turn into a twisted love story between 2 opposite human beings. We had ups and downs, shocking and heartless events, regrets and longings, chocolate and other sweets, faking stories and reality checks, but most of all endless hugs and kisses. Sudden events may have almost killed this whole storyline, but the fire between these "Sunny buddies" still burns on.

#4 - Diana Elena Dobrica (Dde) - This year will be marked as the 4th since we first met, and just like the next contender, even though she couldn't top it this year, Diana is a girl with top priority, who I could always count on. Even if we would have a big bad fight, even if we would tease each other, and even if we never been, neither will be together, we would still respect each other, and just  be pure friends. Maybe that’s what makes her so special, and I don’t think I would ever wish something more than that from "ma dawg". She is just one of a kind, and in present time I am blessed to have a friend like her after such a long time.

#3 - Alex Mihai Taifas (0) - Not much to say about this man. He is a person I know for almost 14 years and still have that fire to call him a real blood brother. No matter what moral problems we would have, no matter what trouble we would get in, and no matter what lifechanging decision would need to be discussed, he was the main man for the talk. And even though he can't be #1 now, I can say he will always have that special slot of a 0 priority that can top anyone in present. 

And the best (girl)friend this year is....................

#2 - Roxana Elena Costea - The seemingly shocking relationship between the 2 of us emerged once we started learning about each other in a rough time space, and realize that we are the same person, only that she's a girl and her name ends in "-Xana". This bond was and is so strong between the 2 of us, no matter how much time we are given to spend together, because every second spent would make us turn off the conscience, leave the world outside, because nothing at all that would ever make us feel, like everything's real, was turned into gold. And all that because of our similarities, our shared taste in sugar, sarcasm and hate for people, our sincerity in caring about any of us 2 whenever someone is feeling bad or let down, our unconditional love, and most of all the last minute "Condolence hugs" that would literally make us want to hold on to Heaven. That inspirational "I'll be there for you" attitude we shared will probably keep it that way in the near future. Proud to say that even though we met late, and got to know each other in late 2012, this year she was my best (girl)friend. 

And the last, but the best this year is none other than.............

#1 - Alex Iordache (Almic) - There's really not much to tell here. There isn't a person with whom I could laugh my ass off, talked about sports, wrestle, botch, learn from each other, or just hang outside more than this one boy evolve into a real man. Whenever it was time to have some insane fun, he was the first to call. Most proud of this wild road we had in the last 3 years, and even proud to say that he of all people, is in my eyes, top of all, best of the best, undisputed, deserving, and still standing best friend after 10 long years.

Part II: That Weekly Music Video That Inspired Me This Month #5

          I will now give to you TWMVTIMTM #5 in a classic portrayal of my past relationships that failed due to either lies, or unfaithfulness, with neither side coming to an agree of who's fault was. A very catchy tune with rich storytelling,"Trust" is the first song on American thrash metal band Megadeth's seventh studio album Cryptic Writings. It was released on May 8, 1997 in both English and Spanish language versions. The song had significant airplay and MTV rotation and reached #5 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock Tracks chart, making it Megadeth's most successful single to date followed by "Breadline" and "Crush 'Em" from their follow-up album Risk, both of which reached #6 in the same charts. It was later included on the three compilation albums, Capitol Punishment, Back to the Start and Anthology: Set the World Afire, and the box set Warchest.

The song tells the story of relationships that have failed due to mutual dishonesty.


The song was nominated for a Grammy award in January 1998 for best heavy metal performance.

A "Spanish" version of the song was used as a bonus track on the Latin American edition of Cryptic Writings and later on the international remaster of the album. However only the chorus is in Spanish. The song is otherwise identical to its album counterpart in verse. Mustaine would record a Spanish version of The World Needs A Hero song Promises a few years later, which also appeared on the Latin American version of its parent album.

Part III: The Captive Honor

           Ah, finally, we get to this month review. As I said earlier, nothing very special happened, aside from the last stuff going on in Slutina and the departure to Cluj to begin the exam-session

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            As I mentioned, in the last chapter, 2012 was arguably the best damn year of my life, and I wished for 2013 to be the same. It actually started off pretty good. Just like last year, as promised, a returning Andra would come back to my life, followed by her best friend Laura, both anxious to see each other again. One strange thing I noticed about this reunion is that Andra had a lot of stuff to relate to me and Laura, which made me automatically realize that these 2 were also separated somewhere in the time l was away from Andra. It was later confirmed by Laura that they fought over a stupid subject and that drove their friendship to pause as well (no surprise here). Anyway, the first sight between me and Andra seemed long-awaited after 3 long months. An imminent hug was the final nail on our past problems' coffin, and the continuation to this rich book of stories in present. She started telling me and Laura everything that happened to her while she was gone, about her even more dyslexic love life, her focus on an acting career, and some past funny incidents she past through. It was cool to hear her again and even cooler to drive Laura nuts with last month's stalker characteristics. Then I told her about how it sucks to be an engineering student, and some of my past occurrences in the last 3 months with my friends. Very wonderful of her to pass by and lust over some missed love for each other, we both really needed.

She missed me a lot, I missed her a lot, it's been some time, so we had to renew this link we always had.

           The next day I completed the Top 25 from Part I and uploaded it as a note on my Facebook. It had very positive feedback, and most of the people were very happy with their positions, others just happy to see their even in the Top 25. One of those people was my dead-ex. Alright... I'm gonna finally reveal her. My dead-ex I kept rambling for like an year is <drum roll> ..... #22! My ex-classmate Alina! I managed to reach her calls after the New Year's Day, and invited her to a little reunion at the Old Hound Pub from Slutina for a juice. She gracefully accepted, and once we met, we started talking (A LOT), and once we reached the OHP, we started arguing over some stupid subjects like we always did. Then it hit me. I told Alina the same thing. We have a very unique way of being such close friends, and that is, we never get along over any argument made by the opposite. She realized the same thing, and for the first time since I probably know her, we finally found a common agreement. It was just amazing..... After that we argued a little more over some other stuff, then I told her that I am glad to stick her in the Top 25. She thought that was weird because we didn't really got along too well last year (recalling from Chapter 4, the moment when I cut the friendship with her, because she lied to me). Then I told to her, that I don't care what happened, because we fought each other so much we are now great friends we trust. And that's the most important thing about us right now, the present and the future. She was happy to hear this and jumped for a hug because of the relief. 

           I had a great evening with her, then something even more wonderful happened, as I met 0 and suggested me to check the feedback for the Top 25 after leaving Alina. My best (girl)friend Roxana commented she was happy to the point of crying that I put her at the #2 spot. No time for questions, and no time for games, I called her and summoned her to me. It was another feel good moment to see her in 2013, all alive and well, and happy to see each other again. The real world once again disconnected, and we had an amazing time for the rest of the night. It was sad to hear from her that she won't there to wish me farewell because she was needed to go to the village for her family. I said there's no problem, we can do it right now, because I don't want her to be there for me, and I don't want her to cry anymore, I will be there for her, always. It was very emotional from both parties, but in the end it just raised the bar even higher and higher. I even dedicated a riddle to her called "I'll be there for you" to assure her I'll keep it like that.

Followed by those usual goodbyes I had to give to everyone from home, I began the trip back to Cluj, with the realization that this ranking I made at the beginning of this month, left me drooling over some friends I really wanted to see a lot more often, and didn't had the time because of time constraints. And also because of the exam session that makes me feel like I'm a Captive Honor. But I will fight my way out of this hellish period for a student, and welcome everyone back in these arms the next month, when it's all over.

Thank you everyone for watching this unique post and let me know what you think about it. Next month will be covered by Chapter XIV: 10 Steps To Someone's Heart, and it will mark the return of the motivational speech about a very emotional love story I encountered. The play is called "Promises", so see you tomorrow, and have cool until next time. Peace!

Photo of the month: