Quote of the month: “It’s something that you are, something that I’m not”
Songs of the month: Megadeth – À Tout le Monde
Metallica - The Unforgiven (yet again)
Good day my friends! This is yet another delayed post, I’ll try to be a lot more punctual since it’s the 2nd time in a row I’ve done this, but basically starting with college, I am putting up with quite a tough schedule and I didn’t had much time for writing stuff on paper, with all the stuff going on up to this moment, it’s probably the best time to begin writing before I get caught into other stuff. Let’s not waste any time, kick the chair!
Part I: What will you remember, when I’ll say goodbye?
Going in with the beginning of this month I was graced to have the time of my life with like 80% of all my friends, and lived up some great moments to be remembered with each of them. Kicked things off with Andra’s last visit at Melvin’s watching “Ted” and laugh our asses off at the movie, cuddled, hugged, ate sweets, the typical stuff we’d do & as a bonus I showed her a movie which was a recap of the history between the 2 of us up to that moment which sparked into a “speechless” feeling (no pun intended to MJ, his song was playing after that movie). That was possibly the best day we had together as best friends, as it stuck some shivering memories for both of us. On the other hand, a week before my departure we had a dispute, which left us 2 betrayed by one another, and even though some ultimatums were given, at the moment we would stay unforgiven one to the other. It’s a pity things between us ended on a bad notch given the rich history, from “Sunny buddies” to despised human-beings, but at least I can remember I priced every moment with someone who I cared about at the time. I won’t get into detail what happened because it isn’t the right place to tell. I’ll just say this, there was no St. Anger emerging from me this time(for those wondering), and it’s just an ego mismatch we had to deal with, something none of us can solve this problem for now, but another bitch can do it (her name’s “Time”).
Moving on I enjoyed being next to one of my oldest friends and ex school-mates Radu “Ray” Bud who was dealing the same issue I was also facing, only that he was going to leave at the half of September, and stood next to him to play any card game, pool game, board game, or even the old-school Worms game among others such as chatting about different subjects. His group consisting of Razvan Dinca, Bobo, Alin Echo, Marian and others from their kin were also entertaining as hell, and damn smart from diverse points of view, I don’t remember having any problem with any of them, and I am also wondering why I didn’t hanged out with these guys from like a long time ago? Meh, I’ll have to give credit to the Amsterlypse concept from last month, a big advantage being that you meet a lot of new and great people. Once Ray left Slatina, the group dissolved and Ray was happy to know he left on good terms with everyone, and know that some other friends (me) would still care to be next to him.
Non-stop laughing, visits to pubs, and the first ever Dubstep/DNB event from our city would wait for me, Micu, Diana, Duda and her girly kin. I can name a crazy night when Duda was pissed off for not pulling it off as a rapper in an outfit and literally roll on the fence laughing while she was whining. The Dubstep/DNB event called “Dedicate Control” was just fantastic. You had great music, a considerable amount of alcohol and energy drinks, non-stop filming/photo shooting, people who were only meant to be there (and not some unfitting stereotypes) like skaters, people who just wanted to bust a move, adrenaline-dance junkies, Justin (all of above), pretty girls, and all of the people I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph. All of this + 5-6 hours of continuous dancing and sweat = Best Party Event Ever. I’d say kudos to Duda for being the organizer for this joint, ‘cause it was damn worth it.
At the fall of the month before leaving, I was busy with a farewell tour I was doing throughout the whole week, and I can say it had it’s sad parts, it’s movie-taped parts and it’s last hug-goodbye parts. All of those things were making me want to ask every friend I met so far, “What will you remember when I’ll say goodbye?”, I was really starting to be a little athazagoraphobic (fear of being forgotten) and started wondering if this whole road was actually meant to make me feel sorry for leaving or if I meant to mind my own business and go to college. But after hanging out with a now great friend, I realized that question isn’t necessary. How? I’ll talk about that in Part 3.
Part II: That Weekly Music Video That Inspired Me This Month #1
One major change you’ll see at this blog is that from now on, I will post what’s written on the title of this part, because I’m pretty burnt out of ethical/philosophic ideas/problems. Don’t worry, ‘cause this isn’t the end of it, I will probably return in the near future with that stuff when I feel I’m ready, but until then I’ll let some songs on Part II, that I found very powerful from a lyrical standpoint.
Since I was facing the problem of losing all my friends one-by-one and wanting to have my last farewell with each of them, this week I chose this Megadeth song from their ’94 album called “Youthanasia”. As lead guitar/singer Dave Mustaine would say, “This is not a suicide song, what it is, it's, you, it's when people have a loved one that dies and they end on a bad note, you know, they wish that they could say something to them. So this is an opportunity for the deceased to say something before they go. And it was my impression of what I would like to say to people, if I had say, 3 seconds to do so in life before I died I'd say to the entire world, to all my friends, I love you all, and now I must go. These are the last words I'll ever speak, and they'll set me free. I don't have to say I'm sorry, I don't have to say I'm going to miss you, or I'll wait for ya. You know, I'll just say I loved you all, good, bad, indifferent, I loved you all.”. So after you’re done with this song, proceed with Part III. Enjoy!
Part III: So as you read this know my friends…
So we’re at the last week before the departure, starting with 19th of September and ending with September 26th . If you remember what you read in the first part, I said something about fearing of being forgotten and wondering if this wacky road I roamed for 13 years was actually worth it. Truth be told, I wasn’t too anxious to find out because I wanted to do a lot of stuff before leaving, and time was running out way too fast. I remember one night everyone got home at 11 PM, and that was a shock because all of my friends would be home like 4-5 hours later. That moment made me realize that there wasn’t much too do, but to follow up to them. You know that song from MJ called “You are not alone”? That song was running through my head over and over again because I wouldn’t have any idea who could actually free me from this loneliness. All of my friends were up for that, but now most of them are extremely limited in timeslots, while others found other stuff to do. So yeah, I would go home saddened, and in my darkest hour, I was starting to think about the departure and my longing for friends more and more…
BUT THEN…(I know everyone was expecting these 2 words), Grace did shine on me, and one of my newest friends Roxana, texted me. We played a little chit-chat, I told her my situation, she told me that she was pretty bored, and wanted to go eat some jelly with someone. My answer to that proposal was more of a “Yes”, I didn’t managed to know Roxana better because she was away from the city to the village the whole summer, while I was busy with my college stuff in the mid-summer. Sure we would still text, but this would be the first time we would ask each other out for a walk. And so it was, we would exit our homes, then just walk our way to the other’s home, hoping on meeting each other on the road.
We met, we condolence-hugged each other, and off we gone to a little walk in the city with 3 packs of jelly (and boy did we got ripped-off for them). Reaching to stay at a bench we started remembering some funny moments at Master Radu’s math/physics meditations, talked about the future for each other, and also discussed with her about some of those pesky issues I was dealing at the time. She concurred to my overall-mood and said that no matter what can actually come in my way, it wouldn’t last long, because she always saw me as a friend she can always trust. She also told me some stuff that were happening in her life that weren’t easy to swallow. She told me that she understands my mood, and that she knows how much it sucks that you can’t be heard by anyone, and she’s been there too. Then, something strange happened, we would start encouraging each other to be stronger and face our respective fears. A neat idea hit me and I explained what I wanted to do, and asked if she was up to help me with it, an idea she was happy to say she would love to help me. That idea consisted of me doing ~10 seconds of taped footage with 90% of my friends when we hug, and construct a theatric movie in Sony Vegas Pro 11. It was a tiresome and a quite difficult quest to accomplish, but in the end, I got everything I wanted, and took my farewell with every remaining friend on the city, Roxana included, who was instrumental in helping me get the footage (funny thing we condolence-hugged like 5-6 times while going home and saying those last words before leaving her).
Reaching home I packed some of my stuff, and 6 hours later I would get another rude awakening to get to the bus in time. After that I did my farewell with my parents who were anxious about everything going on and they wished me luck in college. After reaching Cluj I would start catching some last footage on tape and start composing on the movie for like 3-4 consecutive days, with almost no sleep, waited like countless hours to upload it on Vimeo, because there was no internet connection, and I had to use a wireless stick that could upload at 30 KB/s which was pretty horrendous since I was doing it with a 300 MB movie. In the end I would manage to succeed and post it everywhere (Y!/Facebook/Twitter etc.).
Upon it’s completion, I was tearing endlessly as I was watching the solo part from the movie, and not long after watching that movie I made I got tons of positive feedback about this movie being extremely emotional and very well done. Roxana was the first to give her feedback, and in her words she would say “this movie is sooooo f*****g awesome!!!” and would be happy to say she could help me as I thanked her. Some other friends were shocked about how great this movie was, and some of them even cried at it because they really didn’t expect it to have such a strong storyline, ending and message. I’ll stick both the synopsis and the clip here for those wondering what the hell is this movie I keep rambling about:
“Melvin is a darksider clone of the original form of one man called Robert, which is built from clusters of friends and memories who had a place in Roby’s heart. Since Roby is the babyface, Melvin is still a steady friendly form but more of an anti-hero, easily observed by antics such as being often ironic, extremely sarcastic, annoying, more open-minded, takes decisions instantly, irresponsibile, underhanded, sadistic, evil, taunting, egotistical for it’s wealth, yet, a more mature personality than Roby, and is very loyal to any friend who helps him, thus forming the Roby Melvin character.
Later this summer Roby Melvin left Slatina for Cluj to prepare for college, and earlier with a month he started having several nostalgia attacks with all his friends and their moments. The last nostalgia attack is manifested in the form of a vision; in Cluj when he receives an envelope that contained 8 blank pages. Roby out of frustrations for his longing of home, started writing on each page keywords that defined most of his friends. Once he was done with the writing, Roby is being immediately struck by his strongest nostalgia attack yet and now appears in a ridge from his hometown sightseeing everything amazed, and starts gazing upon those now written pages as they suddenly became collages with his friends until ultimately he is hit in sadness when he reaches the last page and remembers his favorite thing about all of his friends: the hugs.
Deprived by the sorrow caused to himself, Roby Melvin leaves the papers down and sits to his agony looking at the sky, until an ethereal form of a great friend of his named Roxana appears next to him, cheers him up, tells him that he can get rid of all that pain for missing his friends/family here by keeping these memories he created with him, and hugs him. Roby feeling better he decides to do so, than Roxana disappears and then Roby comes back to the real world in an instant second.
The ending sees Roby Melvin smiling happy that all those blank pages he doodled have now become photos all his friends he dreamed of in his vision, realizing that the nostalgia attacks are over, and that his goodbye is just for now.”
Later this summer Roby Melvin left Slatina for Cluj to prepare for college, and earlier with a month he started having several nostalgia attacks with all his friends and their moments. The last nostalgia attack is manifested in the form of a vision; in Cluj when he receives an envelope that contained 8 blank pages. Roby out of frustrations for his longing of home, started writing on each page keywords that defined most of his friends. Once he was done with the writing, Roby is being immediately struck by his strongest nostalgia attack yet and now appears in a ridge from his hometown sightseeing everything amazed, and starts gazing upon those now written pages as they suddenly became collages with his friends until ultimately he is hit in sadness when he reaches the last page and remembers his favorite thing about all of his friends: the hugs.
Deprived by the sorrow caused to himself, Roby Melvin leaves the papers down and sits to his agony looking at the sky, until an ethereal form of a great friend of his named Roxana appears next to him, cheers him up, tells him that he can get rid of all that pain for missing his friends/family here by keeping these memories he created with him, and hugs him. Roby feeling better he decides to do so, than Roxana disappears and then Roby comes back to the real world in an instant second.
The ending sees Roby Melvin smiling happy that all those blank pages he doodled have now become photos all his friends he dreamed of in his vision, realizing that the nostalgia attacks are over, and that his goodbye is just for now.”
There you go. So as you read this know my friends…I’d love to stay with you all, but I have to go in a better place where it’s far, far away. This may be the End of an Era, it may also leave some memories behind, it might as well be a goodbye, but this is not goodbye forever, this is just a goodbye for now, because I will return, and we will keep creating history with each other no matter who you are.
I want to thank everyone for reading this yet another delayed Chapter, I hope you enjoyed every moment of my new blog format, and those little pieces from my life stuck into here. Chapter X: A New You will hopefully be ready at the end of October and will keep the same format as this one. Hope you like this, and that movie I have in store for you (be sure to play it on full-screen). Good night, enjoy the movie, and as always, peace!
Photo of the month:
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| How I want to remember all my friends |
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