Quote of the month: ”I’d eat him (Manca-l-ash)”
Song(s) of the month: AC\DC – Thunderstruck
Nightwish - The Islander
Metallica – Creeping Death
Hello dear friends/followers , I want to thank each and every one of you for following the tales of my life throughout all this time. Up until this very day, my life was living hell this month: I was challenged countless times, I had 4-5 near death experiences (and no, I’m not kidding), I got countless hours of learning for the big exams, while in the same time I lost countless hours of sleep, rest and friends who believed in me. Nevertheless, the show must go on…
Part 1: F**k it all and f*****g no regrets.(Dear Diana)
I started June pretty damn good. My dad bought a bike, I had friends who were confident in me and me, Alex M. and Micu would roll the wheels towards new places like in good old times. Following the bike purchase I was an almost victim of 3 accidents due to the unforgiving rocky roads, the result got me scarred in 3 different places. While we were roaming on, Alex and Micu told me I should be more focused on my exams and less on the stuff I am doing in my free time, because you can’t base yourself on your friends. I understood what he was trying to tell me ,but how Micu phrased it also translated in my brain into “I would be way better than you in your circumstance, even though I am 2 years younger than you”. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done some stupid decisions in my life, but that doesn’t mean I repeat the same mistake again. I’ve improved a lot in learning from my mistakes, and studying for my exams, just to be focused. And now I have a guy younger than me to tell me what to do, like his way is the only right one. He said, I have all the rights to be pissed on him and I was, not because of the wake-up call, because of how he built it, and I didn’t liked how he said it at all. It actually made me believe he has no confidence in me anymore. Later that evening, after I got home I immediately did a shower and gone for supper, and oh the irony, my cats were fighting and they scratched my feet by accident. Nervous I split them up and gone to the bathroom to mend those wounds. By now I was scratched and torn in 5-6 places. Like that wasn’t enough, I had a fight with my parents over a stupid decision they took for “my own sake”.
You see, daddy ,as tough as he looks, is quite emotional, when it comes to a close friend’s passing out. Following that tragedy, he told me he does not want me to be a part of his or my mom’s mourning because they don’t see me strong enough to bear all this. That comment ticked me off completely and made me throw strong words to my dad and his retarded decisions concerning our future for the sake of “our” own well-being. Of course, as stubborn as he is, he wouldn’t reconsider, and my mom was neutral, so nothing was solved.
Later that evening I stayed outside for some gossip with some of my best friends, when suddenly Micu bearhugged me and lost leverage making me fall to a iron hedge and to the ground, chest, right-arm and head-first. Infuriated at all the crappy landings I had over the past 2 weeks, I started yelling at everyone to leave me the f**k alone and stop treating me like shit. Diana being the most affected by the shout, left disappointed by my reaction, followed by her sister. I was way too pissed by all the crap I had to bear over the past 2 weeks by every single thing that was going on in my mind: the exams, the scars, my fight to keep some friendships alive, the confidence struggle, everything. That spawned St. Anger once again for the 5th time, and laid waste to all those top friends I had in the form of pure frustration. Micu kinda sensed he was trying to break into his maturity at my expense, and after leaving disappointed, he texted “I’m sorry”. Of course we still talk, but that doesn’t mean I forgave him. Instead I would apologize to Diana for my outburst and she accepted it. The last thing I wanted to do was to desolate another best-friend like I did last this month .Broken, beaten and scarred I managed to still die hard, and say “f**k it all, and f*****g no regrets, there are never happy endings on these dark sets”, I knew this month will be quite challenging for me so I had to make some decisions. Some of them were pretty bad, while others where worse, but still there were the right thing to do. At least now I am more focused on my exams that are coming in early July.
My only real regret was somebody other than Diana, despite the incident, was so close of surpassing her failed miserably. But then I realized, I am graced with Diana’s presence. Even if we would have a big bad fight, even if we would tease each other, and even if we never been, neither will be together, we would still respect each other, and be just pure friends. Maybe that’s what makes her so special, and I don’t think I would ever wish something more than that from her. Diana is just one of a kind. I can see it’s not easy being like her, struggling with his crack-addicted boyfriend, trying to keep all of us close, making sure after any fight there would always be a better day, or if I was close of making a bad move, she would convince me there’s an alternative, and after any drama or a dark secret to share I could always rely on Diana to help lift that weight, and she would always do miracles in the last second when I would always have a critical need. She was always straight-real, and could always show a proper brotherly love, and even though I act crazy, I have to thank The Lord for what a best-friend He gave me. Dear Diana, there ain’t no way I can pay you back, but the least I could do is to show you that I understand. You are appreciated.
Part 2:Countdown to extinction-Take-I
Okay, so starting the countdown until the exam kinda drove me crazy, so I had to find something to distract my attention, since listening my favourite music wasn't working too good. So I thought about making a live countdown, completing it with 2 facts each (for the first 20 days), one which is about me and the other about all sorts of funny/scientific/random stuff, you may have not known before. This will probably be fun for a lot of you, so enjoy!
30.The number of absences I graduated high-school with before they could turn null in the last second. Also the number of minutes I could stare at someone without blinking.
29.The date from November 2011 I decided I would later do a blog about my life, also the number of undisputed victories in a row against Micu at backgammon.
28 Days later, a horrific movie which also spawned a sequel,28 Weeks later. Also the same number of days that spawns a human menstrual cycle.
27 satellites surround Uranus. Also the same number of kills I scored in Team Fortress 2 with my favorite class, the Pyro.
26 is the atomic number of Iron. Also there were 26 wonderful days I could ever had with my "Dead" ex without fighting or feeling awkward. (Yes,the storyline still goes on)
25 years, blood, pain and tears. Also the very 1st WWE PPV I ever saw was Wrestlemania 25.
24 FPS is the number of a motion picture film it usually projects on. 24/7 is how I can usually ask someone "WHAT?".
In the 23rd Psalm, the writer (David) describes God as his Shepherd. There've also been 23 classmates I all respected and hanged out with in my last high-school year.
22 is the typical minimum number of episodes a TV program has in a season. Also F-22 Raptor is my favorite plane.
21,only son but he served us well. Also the same cash in RON could earn from bargains in a week.
20 questions always run through my head. One of them being, how come I'm 20 and still not dead?
19 is the debut album of Adele. Also my 19th birthday is probably my favorite celebration since I was born.
18 is my favorite android from DBZ. Also at my Sweet 18 I celebrated a decade of decadence.
Super 17 is one of my favorite characters to play with in DBZ:BT3.Also 17 is the maximum number of daily cigars I could possibly reach, until pausing.
16 is the base of the hexadecimal number system, which is used extensively in computer science. Also the age of 16 is the most enjoyed year from my childhood.
People dream for 15 minutes of fame, while I'll fight the battle of my life in 15 days for something beyond fame.
In traditional British units of weight, 14 is the number of pounds in a stone. Also at the age of 14, I spawned a new evil, sarcastic, anti-hero persona called Melvin.
People dream for 15 minutes of fame, while I'll fight the battle of my life in 15 days for something beyond fame.
In traditional British units of weight, 14 is the number of pounds in a stone. Also at the age of 14, I spawned a new evil, sarcastic, anti-hero persona called Melvin.
Friday the 13th is considered a day filled with bad luck. I'll be damned if in the past 13 years of endless studying I haven't felt luckier.
The Western zodiac has 12 signs, as does the Chinese zodiac. Also there are 12 heroes from cartoons I always idolized in my childhood.
The 11th moon of Jupiter is called Himalaia. Also I've had a total of 11 unbiological relatives throughout the last 11 months.
I’ll continue the other 10 days/facts at the next chapter.
Part 3: I’m just One…but the show must go on!
Okay, moving forward I had an intense study session with Master Radu. Along with Alexx Nelson , Claudiu and Marcel we had a serious pain session to forcibly learn everything that needed to gap our holes in math/physics. Some of us divided into other groups, and preferred abandoning us just for their own wealth, while we were basically the last men standing, forced to do teamwork no matter what our differences were. This was the first time we could actually pull a great work in solving unsolved problems and leave the jokes aside. 2-3 months earlier I chose to abandon them because of the legitimate heat we had with each other and their importance to jokes in front of learning. Now it was actually the opposite. They finally left all jokes behind because they knew a serious threat was coming in a few weeks, and they needed all the preparations. I felt so damn good I finally had a safe working environment, because teamwork is mostly 10 times more effective than working by yourself. We started visiting our homes, and not for fooling around, but for serious studying. This was the honor among thieves, I’ve always wanted to be part of.
Some crap that was accumulated over the past 3 weeks turned into gold after Micu stopped putting gas on my burning brain, and finally get support from him, and once with him support from all sorts of people and friends, such as ROxana,Bi x2 and her brother Cosmin, Christian, Sabin, Andrew, Diana and her sister Duda, my auntie Andreea (who gave me 100% confidence when I was in any kind of battle), my med-mate Alexx (whom I gave back mutual confidence to keep him on his legs), my ex med-mates AlexAndra and Irina, Sile, Crisssstina, Cipry and his faction (currently consisting of Adelina, Smokemon, Adi, Bianca, Wall-E, Nicu), Justin, Boata and Ovi (Who are also in this exam session this year), Alex Vatushel, Rashid Ali and Ja, some of my ex-mates (such as Tedy, Fly-vius, Gotzy, Robert, Simona and although she is someone with who I am currently feuding, even Alina said she has confidence in me), Dana and Laura (who for some odd reason they both believe in me), Adriana (who could always re-moralise me) and of course my best friend, Diana, Alex M, Andra and Alex (0). The thing what Micu couldn’t understand is why I rely so much on support from other people who will not be next to me. I’ll answer this question right here:
Imagine you go to war, and after you get in the battlefield, you have a very slim chance to get out of that war alive, but that depends all on what you fight for. If you choose to fight for yourself you may get out alive, but will most likely be a hero to yourself and very easy to be forgotten. If you die in the battlefield, you will be labeled something like “20 years. Only son, but he served us well” and the focus will be back on the war, which again leads you to be forgotten. But if you choose to fight for more than just for yourself, if you choose to give freedom to your friends, to your family, and to your loved ones, you get fired up, and choose to die extremely hard, if not at all. In this case you can consider yourself a guy who knows he’s just One, but he also can’t let anyone down and that blast of motivation makes you fight more and more effective against any threat. In this case, if you die in the battlefield you will be labeled “20 years. Only son, but a hero to us all” and then the war is over. That’s how I work. I don’t need a jackass to tell me I have no chance in hell to pass this exam, and after I pass it to tell me, I always knew you had it into you, because I despise those people way too much. My parents have been like this for almost 10 years, and I am not thanking them for that even though I passed some challenges, because in case I fail, I can very well go to that guy who was gambling with my feelings and say “Yeah boy, you were right. I couldn’t stand a chance, but that’s because of you and your impulsions”. This “reality” loop-hole isn’t good at all for me. In fact, it’s inefficient for more than 80% of most cases, not only me. Why? Because it can lead you to crashing down and burn a lot worse, because you develop the fear to failure, that's boggling your mind. That’s what Micu couldn’t understand for me, but hopefully now he knows that this is why I prayed for all my friends all the time, so that I can get that favor returned to me. And right now I feel that energy surge stronger than ever. This summed up confidence from everyone makes me so damn fired up I know I can pass this exam, and achieve what I want. That’s why I know that even though I’m just One, the show must, and will go on, because I will not let any of my friends down, therefore I will not let myself down.
I will defend my world from my head because it's the king's responsability to ensure it's safety. That's how I roll, and that's why at the end of the day my fate, my world's fate, and my future is All Within My Hands, the deal is that I have everything to win, and lose is not an option because right now I am immune to that kind of fear I was talking earlier.
Thank you everyone as always, for reading Chapter VI! It's been a half of a storied year so far, and the next is Chapter VII:...hmm. In fact, I think I'll keep it a surprise, for everyone. So stay tuned. The exam days are near, so you probably got the hint about what twist of fate I can get next month. Let's hope my judgement day on the 8th of July will be the right one. For now I want to thank you everyone for the support you gave me, and of course the followers of my blog! I wish you the very best in the future! God bless you all!
Photo of the month:
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| I will not let you down. |
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