Chapter V:Living On The Edge

Quote of the month:”I can still turn this around...”

Song of the month:Aerosmith – Living On The Edge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nqcL0mjMjw&ob=av3e

Hey guys,how’s your status ? Mine is pretty hard to describe since this it’s the fall of May and I am 1 month away from the judgement day:The graduation to college. One thing is certain, this month I had a lot of fun with so many stuff going on like hyping and enjoying the Amsterlypse (or the biggest party in the spring), finally settling things straight with some friends but also keep them close to a certain degree and also finding something for the motivational part I owned you guys from last month(Spoiler:It’s about multiple personalities).Had enough of babbling so let’s get started this instance!

Part 1:May-an Prophecy

                Starting this month had it’s ups and downs,in a hyping way. As most of my friends would know,I hold 1-week event every year in May called the Amsterdam Week where my parents go to their yearly field trip while I stay home...alone. In this week I literally hold parties somewhat similar to the American Pie series:we drink,we dance,we smoke,we party hard. This year’s edition I decided I should call it Amsterlypse,just a comical crossover to the Mayan Prophecy that says that in 2012 it will be the end of the world. Also it has an ironic tease to be the very last Amsterdam Week (since I’ll be gone to college,but hey,don’t let yourself caught in these smoke and mirrors that easy,everything is possible). It was a big deal to promote it in the CNRG:Radu Greceanu National College (or College of Naturally Rejected Geniuses how I like to call it) since most of my remaining home friends are here.

I had 3 organized meetings. The first was to settle things straight about this year’s event and discuss marketing strategies with Justin and Rashid Ali; we also made what I think it was a prologue to the past Amsterdam Weeks and we revisited some comical memories from those events.The 2nd meeting consisted of the same past invitees but this time with some more new blood such as Vatushel,Laura and Andra. The morning before going to the meeting I heard bad news of Amsterlypse ending up getting cancelled because my parents would probably not go to their trip at all. Despite the bad news,my parents decided they will go anyway and their decision was final. Hearing this just made me smile and say ”Okay” and go happy to the 3rd and last meeting on May 9th which would decide the fate of the Amsterlypse. Me knowing the good news gone with a fake expression until I gave everyone the verdict and everyone was happy and eager to begin it.
               

                Amsterlypse consisted of only one protocol. If you want a song to be played you would enter a queue (play it after the last one is over). If you play it in the middle of another song and interrupted you would be forced to the Canadian Nutcracker for males(you would be immobilized and recieve 2 heavy kicks to the balls from me and the guy who had it’s song interrupted,shouting ”Oh,Canada!” in the process), or the Canadian Cheekbuster for females,later available as an alternative to the ’Nutcracker(you get your cheeks pinched for 60 seconds from me and the guy who had it’s song interrupted while we wear very thick and rough hiking gloves). Other that,you could basicly do anything you want:You could watch a movie,you could gossip,you could smoke your brains out,you could get so drunk you would need subtitles (and yes,I had a case),you could eat and you also had my room reserved for private reasons (such as private talking or getting laid). Anything. The day after was pretty obvious that an attrocious mess would come in the way,but atleast 70% of the invited were eager to help me tighten/clean up the house to a shiny level. So yeah,half of the week was so damn entertaining and enjoing...but The May-an Prophecy started showing it’s truth,as problems starting taking place and get way out of control.Will tell more about it in Part 3,but first read the next one for it’s essential in the storyline advancement.

Part 2:Cult of Personality=Emotional Mayhem

Good,now look. Everyone has personalities. Now if you have one or have more split-personalities that is up to you. In my eyes,their role is to take control in the right situation and rationally get yourself through them. They prevail all your emotions: happiness, sorrow, anger, everything. But what happens if your personality intervenes in the wrong moment? Simple explanation. Bad things. I for example am a human being split into 3 different personalities, each of them having their own purpose and gimmicks so precise, sometimes even I fear what I am capable of, because I have no idea if my personality takes the right decision instead of me.
Let’s review me,myself and I:

1.Roby – This is my original form,my completely lightsided personality,predominating in being comepletly understandful,never taking decisions until everything full analasys of it is made,very versatile,responsabile ,sincere,very friendly and respectful.Although he is more of a heroic personality by putting his friends/family ahead of himself he still is very weak emotionally and relies on the other personalities to deal with situations he can’t handle.

2.Melvin – This is my secondary,more of a darkside clone of the original form is built from clusters of friends and memories who had a place in Roby’s heart. Since Roby is the babyface,Melvin is still a steady friendly form but more of an anti-hero,easily observed by antics such as being ironic,extremely sarcastic,annoying,more open-minded,takes decisions instantly,irresponsabile, underhanded,sadistic,evil,taunting,egotistical for it’s wealth,yet,a more mature personality than Roby.

3.Saint Anger – This is my third and final form. This is arguably the devil incarnate from my brain. It’s a personality which appears very occasionally but lies waste to everything Roby or Melvin tried to accomplish.St. Anger derives from either Roby or Melvin when either of them are emotionally weak,and takes control of all the bad virtues. This form is extremely volatile,broken, unstable,very aggresive,nervous,twisted, unreasonable,hysteric,unforgiving, vengeful,wreckless,frantic,lying, careless, demented and very dangerous version of me

              St. Anger is that one form I fear the most,not just because of it’s qualities,but also because this is the only form I can’t control. In other words if I get angry,this parasite appears and takes full control of myself. It had only 4 incarnations as of today and I’d rather not get through this stage ever again because the only thing it accomplished to me is causing emotional mayhem. It’s even harder to turn it off,since I can only do so if I obey this form’s objective or try to calm down in like 2-3 days and sleep. 

              The first spawn was caused by my now ”dead-ex girlfriend” (sorry,for storyline purposes I can’t reveal her yet)who woken up this cretin with all of her lies and unworthiness and ruined our relationship drasticly. The 2nd spawn was caused by my dad and a girl I was dating back then called Raluca,because of their,ironicly,common annoyance and injustice,the result leaving them both in tears,and fear of my wreckless behaviour. The 3rd spawn was caused by my ex-mates and more specificly Alina who lied to me as always,and this concluded in cutting off those loose ends and make them pay for what they’ve done(Read more on Chapter IV-Part3). The last incarnation took place in the Amsterlypse,but about that,and who woken it up,I will tell in part 3.

                   All I am saying is,here is that you are a living breathing cult of personality.The only bad thing about it is to chose them wisely,because in the end you may end up being the puppet and your personality becoming your master,and that isn’t always a good thing going on.

Part 3:Trust hurts

                Okay back to the Amsterlypse (grab some popcorn,'cause this will be huge).So,the first half of the Amsterlypse was pretty damn awesome. I had 3 people punished for changing songs,drank a lot of beer,had fun with my friends and also got laid (f**k yeah). But starting with Thursday night,everything started going out of control.

First,I had to keep that ”lucky” girl concealed from everyone who was coming over later that night,which was a real pain in the arse,but with a little help from Cipry’s texting and some cash,I managed to create the perfect distraction for them to go buy cigarretes while I rushed the girl’s escort in utter subtlety without anyone catching her home in my bed or anywhere. That was the first time in that week when I could still turn things around,perfectly. Quite exhausting,but atleast she was safe from everyone who came home 5 minutes later.
                Then in Day 4 I had to face complete chaos in my home with 26-27 people in a scouting session (that’s arguably the biggest number of people I could ever bring home).Of course things gone crazy...Some of the main highlights that come through my mind are the following:

• The home-smoging which was caused by the barbecue and had to fresh the air after like 1-2 hours.
• A couple nearly breaking up because some people including that couple were drunk and the girl cheated on the poor boy.
• 2 glass cups got shattered=imminent clean-up under the influence.
• Dissagreament with some of my best friends over some stupid decisions.

                All of the problems would later be solved,the house would be like new again,the cups were ejected,and the disfunctional couple would burry the hatchet and make up again.The last problem on the other hand was a little more complicated to repair.
                I had dissagreaments with 2 of my best friends.The first being Alex (0) because him and his girfriend would still have some beef about his ex-girlfriend being invited and wanted to avoid the awkwardness of the situation. That drived me crazy because ”0” ’s ex didn’t had absolutely no more heat on them and they could have had that neutral respect for the sake of everything. Of course it was 0 and his girlfriend Crissssssssstina’s ego that wouldn’t let it go through. The second with whom I had a light arguing was Andra who for personal reasons I have to conceal what happened,but to make it short,she done something that said she’d would never do again,and that made me think she was a hypocrite. We then had to privately talk about that issue but that didn’t solve much as we didn’t had the time nor the place to talk about it so I told her just to be more carefull and everything was going to be alright,of course that was more of a delay for what was supposed to be our future talk,but hey,I had a house and 25 other people to take care of,give me a break.

                After that wild night I talked with Cipry about everything going out of control and that fight I had with Andra. He wisely pointed out that I feel something for her,which later I realised myself,I just got feelings for my best friend. Cipry told me I should talk with her about it (as he would hope on a future relationship between us 2, but as you may know I’d prefer staying single until after I know I am in college,to keep my mind clear and focus on my main task),and indeed that would’ve been the most relaxed way to settle things straight,but then over time,I was being hit by a mirage of wanting her more and more and that left me no choice but to purge those feelings in a way I am not proud of.

                Day 5 was the day when the last incarnation of St. Anger commenced. How? I was in an emotional mayhem once again. Why?I had feelings for my best friend and somebody had to terminate them. Who? One of my best friends,Andra. Knowing that neither Roby or Melvin were capable of turning things around,St. Anger had to do the forced alternative and vanquish those feelings for my best friend. It started when I suddenly turned rude and start ignoring her antics such as hugging and forehead kissing and reject her from my room. She would then refuse to leave without me. I told her 5 more minutes until I would finish listening a song I was listening on my headphones,then I will come out,which she agreed and timed the period. In the meanwhile I staged an accident so that I would wake up that angry personality and make her feel guilty. Even though she begged for forgiveness with her arms on my shoulders for that accident,I would ignore that and drag her to the kitchen pissed. Here,St. Anger took control. When Andra asked me if I have anything to eat I told her that there are meatballs and cabbage in the fridge and that she can grab herself one. As she was childlishly fighting with her friend Laura and told her she’s only for the interests,I was whispering something like ”Yeah,look who’s talking...” then both of ‚em were looking at me shocked and asked me what did I say,while I falsely stated ”Stay cool,I was just joking” which neither of them bought I was meaning it for real and they started suspecting me for having an issue with Andra,which I denied. The boiling point was a little bit later when Andra (I suppose jokingly) asked me a question and I replied with an attrocious insult that left both her and Laura shocked for atleast 5 minutes straight,while I started grinning because St. Anger done his job and purged all those feelings. While everything in my mind went back to normal, there was an obvious whiplash from Andra’s side,when she started degrading our friendship a little later by abandoning all those typical antics we’d use to do and act like 2 strangers. That was another reason why I hated that other side of me that takes control of the ship and instead of trying to save it’s integrity,the only thing you find in the end is an even more wrecked ship. All I wanted is lose those feelings,and I did,but in the process I also lost a wonderful friend. Of course she would try and make me gelous,but that wouldn’t work anymore because the feelings were gone and I could ignore anything from her that would make me mad again.

                Nevertheless I talked to Cipry about everything that happened and he was like ”Dude,what the hell is wrong with you?”,and I told him in a hush tone that not even I don’t know. It was a situation that I couldn’t handle,and sadly I had to rely on my personalities to solve it,which for the 4th time,it was the wrong guy on the driver seat and made things worse. He would then ask me what was my main purpose after all,and I told him I didn’t wanted to be together with Andra,I just wanted to stay best friends and not jump over that level. Instead all that St. Anger done is just stomp on it to the ground. Cipry then told me that he understood the situation but also pointed out that I could’ve made things better for the both of us in a simple conversation,and that now it’s too volatile to do it because Andra was pissed at me and would probably not forgive me. In that very moment I knew exactly what to do and said the usual ”I can still turn this around!”. This time Cipry was questioning my abilities and would tell me that I know better,and hopefully this time it’s the right personality to save the ship from sinking. 

                The next day I would welcome back my parents and please them with a tidy,squeeky,clean home and listen to their stories about the journey how they enjoyed it. Later that day I made one last video on Youtube that explained my thoughts on the Amsterlypse and also included a detailed story/apology about the situation I had with Andra(if you want I will stick an english transcript of the video on the blog,because the video is made in romanian language). I was literally expressing my feelings without any remorse or regrets and said I was really sorry about everything bad that happened. I shared that public apology on my facebook timeline and left home to meet with Alex(Micu’). 15 minutes later I got a phone call from my best friend ”0” and told me he never saw a man to have balls like me and said he and Crissssssstina were very proud of what I’ve done. He also told me it received nothing but positive reactions from everyone who saw it and he also read me the comments from various friends,including the first one from Andra who basicly said I made her cry after that video,that she forgives me and she’s sorry for everything (She also stuck 3 simple words in that comment which made me question her feelings about me? Meh,whatever). At ”0” ’s suggestion,I would then call her and check how is she at the moment. She told me she feels alright,and that she would never expect that coming from me,while I basicly told her I still care about that rich history we had in the past 15 months and want to continue writing on it,the right way. She felt the same and I was glad to hear everything was okay and that the video was treated like a big deal. What’s obvious is that I never done that to any girl. And that idea was spontaniously so...I guess it was Roby this time in control with a little bit of guidance from Melvin,which was a great combo. After that,I would go back to my studies for college graduation,and fight through a heavy cold.

                All in all this month was pretty damn fun. I managed to turn things around quite often,I learned that even though trust hurts,you have to take chances and fight for your friendships (especially the ones for your best friends),and that no matter how much you are living on the edge when you are in dire situations,you can still succeed no matter what. The only thing I know is that I had life lessons every second I spent this month and I’ll be damned if I don’t feel like a veteran right now. My only worry right now,is that i haven't seen neither 0 or Andra after the Amsterlypse. And I am skeptical if I’ll ever see my best friends again,and still have any remaining hatred on me,but hopefully I still got the second chance from both of them because I still care about both of them very much,and we can make sure that this is not where the story ends.

Thank you everyone for reading Chapter V,and I hope you enjoyed the almost half portion of my life on this blog full of stories.Next is Chapter VI:All Within My Hands,and likely it will tell about my preparations for the final test to get in to college. So pray for the best,because I also pray for you and as always:Have a nice day!

Photo of the month:

How I can review Day 4............